took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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