If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Sext me about skeletons
Randomize
