Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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