So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize