Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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