UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
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