i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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