Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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