hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
