Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize