So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
