drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
