How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
