I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
