All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
