exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
