i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
