I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
