You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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