Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
