she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
