oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
