Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
