im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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