I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
