wake up i wanna do it froggy style
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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