I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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