so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Randomize