Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
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