You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
