at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
