I'm really into asian looking animals
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
