someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
