The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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