I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize