Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
