I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
