just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
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