I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
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