Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
