theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
