it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
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