yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
