It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
