Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
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