she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
