youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
