She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
