True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
