I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
