I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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