my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
