is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
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