There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
