i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
