It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize