Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Randomize
